Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Today was not a good day. I was "let go" from my job as Minister of Creative Arts of 4 and a half years. I was told that they were dissolving my position and it was effective immediately. I cleaned out my office, turned in my keys, and was out the door before you could say "Bob's your uncle." So, what now? I have no idea. What I do know is this: I have to believe that God knows what He's doing. There must be something out there for me. I have a wonderful, supportive girl in my life who loves me. I have supportive friends all over the US who are praying for me and who have sent their love to me in this dark time. I have many talents and gifts that would benefit some ministry somewhere. I have always struggled with where my place in this world is; where do I fit in to the grand scheme of things? I'll just have to trust that the doors will open for me. Right now, they feel shut with a big old "CLOSED" sign in the window. God, I know you're listening. Help me. I feel small and used up. I feel betrayed, let down and let go. I feel burned out and burned up. I feel angry and depressed. I feel all this and so much more that I can never put it into words. Let me know that You are there. Show me the way.

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