My Giant Spider Pet

I had a giant spider
Tried to keep her as a pet
I really tried to hide her
But that was no safe bet
I hid her in the chimney
I didn't think and pause
On Christmas Eve she got hungry
And ate up Santa Claus
I put her in the basement
She thought that was a bummer
To get me back, she had a snack
And gobbled down the plumber
Next it was the toolshed
The perfect place, bar none
But little Tommy came to mow
And now his days are done
I checked her into a hotel
With room service and a view
The maid came by with towels
And now she's spider stew
I finally tried one last thing
I took her to my school
By end of day and last bell ring
I felt like such a fool
She ate up all the kiddies
She ate the teacher too
She fled to other cities
I don't know what to do
Her appetite will be her end
That eight-legged walking stomach
I really just wanted a friend
Not a pet to run amok

Copyright 2005 Marty Gordon