Down in the Dumps

As promised, here is the chronicle of Marty Gordon: Dumpster Diver!

The first experience happened while in seminary. It wasn't so much a dumpster dive but a free-for-all collection of all things junk. The Company (Southwestern's drama team) used to do a piece called One Man's Trash. I really don't remember the particulars of the content but to pull it off we would transform the stage into a junk heap. That meant driving around looking for good junk to put on stage. When we did it at the seminary, I remember pulling up in front of a house to grab a couple of mattresses that were lying by the side of the road. As I was manhandling the mattresses, a little boy came out of the front door. I asked him if it was okay if I took them and he said, "Sure. We don't want them anymore since my brother peed all over them." Needless to say, I dropped the mattresses and went on my merry way.

Once our masterpiece of garbage was built on stage, most of the troupe donned their best homeless gear and found a hiding place amongst the trash. You see, the big surprise of the performance was that all these homeless people were hiding in the trash unbeknownst to the watching audience. When we did it at the seminary, I was laying flat on my back right behind the podium covered in newspaper. I had to lay perfectly still for a good 30 - 45 minutes until it was time for our performance. It was tough! Then, for whatever dumb reason, I hid a partially eaten doughnut in the trash so I could find it and eat it on stage. Well, I think the whole thing got too real for me and the doughnut made me sick to my stomach.

We also did this same piece at a church in Oklahoma. For that one, we had to do it for both Sunday morning services. That meant hiding out well before the first service began, coming out for the first service, retreating straight back to the hiding place and not coming out again until after the second service. I chose a refrigerator box with a door cut into the back as my hiding place. I sat in there and slowly started to realize that I had to pee really bad. I didn't know what to do. When we came out for the first service performance, as I was heading back into the box I grabbed a large Big Gulp cup out of the trash. (Someone brought a real trash can on stage full of trash. I rummaged through that thing and found some moldy Spam. Gag a maggot!) I took the cup with me back into the box and proceeded to try and get up the nerve to pee in the cup in the middle of a worship service. I kept thinking, "No, I can't. Somebody will hear it. Or they'll smell it. What if I do it? What do I do with the cup after church is over?" My guilt and shame overwhelmed my need to pee so I held it. After the second service was over, myself and several others of the homeless took off running down the aisle to the nearest bathroom. Ah, the pause that refreshes. If any of you Company folk have anything to add to this story, have at it.

I think I'll save my other story for a later date. I think you all need to reflect on this one for a while.