Zombies and Southern Baptists

This morning, I did a little impromptu consulting work for one of the actors involved in present show. It seems he's play a Baptist minister in a zombie movie called Zombies of Mass Destruction that's being filmed around here. He said it was actually his second zombie film this summer. Wow! Who knew the Pacific NW was such a mecca for zombie films.
Anyway, he was trying to get a handle on some things about his character and asked me some questions about Baptist stuff. He felt as though the screenwriters had gotten some things wrong and he was right. Here are a couple of examples.

What do Baptists call their ministers? I told him that it's usually Pastor So-and-So, Dr. So-and-So, or Brother So-and-So. He asked about Reverend and I told him about the difference in ordination and education.

Do Baptists believe in the "earning of salvation?" Apparently that terminology was used in the script. I told him that that wasn't very Baptist because they usually believe in grace.

Do Baptists play bingo? I told him no and that got a big response from some of the other actors around. Apparently he had asked them and they said the same thing I did. Then we agreed that there was a natural progression for the apocalypse as follows: First zombies, then bingo and finally hell.

He also wanted to know some stuff about eschatology but I told him that I was a pan-millenialist; that I believe it will all pan out. Actually I just told him that there were lots of different views and that I didn't participate in any of them because if you get bogged down in all that you forget about the here and now. I also told him about the difference between a pastor and a preacher and that I had never met anyone who was good at both. He felt like the character in the film was an okay pastor, just trying to take care of the flock and save them from the zombies. That's all any pastor can do really.

So, that was my experience consulting. I felt good about my efforts to build a bridge between the Southern Baptists and the mindless shuffling zombies of the apocalypse.

Truth be told, it's a short bridge.