Thursday, July 13, 2006

Prude Juice

I hate prudes. Can I just say that? Never mind what occurred that got me on my soapbox. I'm on it and I'm not climbing off until I've vented.
Prudes are everywhere. Most of the time you expect them only at church, but that's not always the case. They can jump out of the bushes and surprise you sometimes. Just when you least expect it, someone is there to make sure you know that what you just said offended them. Well, ask anyone who knows me, I've never been too terribly "politically correct." But I don't wake up in the morning thinking, "Okay, who can I offend today." I tell you though, if there's a prude around, I want to say stuff just to piss them off. I can't help myself.
This happened alot when I was in seminary. I remember a time I was playing cards with a bunch of compadres in the basement of the Student Center (Cards? I'm offended!) and the subject of nude figure drawing came up. Some Baptist school was thinking of starting a class featuring nude life drawing and the entire Baptist population of Texas was up in decently clad arms. I, possessing a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree and having taken several hours of nude figure drawing, opened my mouth with the opinion that I didn't see anything wrong with it. Oh my! You'd have thought I shot someone. Chaos ensued. Some lost their religion. I lost at cards.
Another time, I was taking a preaching class and wrote a drama instead of a sermon for one of my projects. The title of the drama was, "The Butt-Kissers Banquet." I don't remember the grade I got but the prof. wrote this in his note to me: "Be careful of your use of four letter words. Some people might be offended." I took the paper immediately to one of my other profs and showed it to him. He looked it over and said, "Shoulda used ass. That's only 3 letters." Classic!
And do you know, I did have someone tell me not to say butt anymore around them because it offended them. So what did I do? I said it more...and more...and more. "You don't want me to say butt? Butt...why?" That sort of thing. I guess it was a cruel thing to do.
I shoulda said ass.


Unknown said...

Rock ON, with your bad self!!

Ash said...

well, I'm offended!! Ass is simply not a camp word! Now, Butt crack kissers would have gotten some attention!