Friday, September 15, 2006

Driving Miss Rosie

A co-worker of ours had her car stolen the other day. Thankfully it was recovered sans her laptop. I was asking her today about the condition of the car. It's in good shape but here's what she found when she got her car back.
- The plates were in the trunk but the plate holder was missing.
- There was a branch from a rose bush in the trunk.
- There was dirt in the car.
- There was a small spot of Wite-Out on one of the vents.
- The car smelled of BO.
- It was found parked in front of a fire hydrant.
- The car had been driven 75 miles and used half a tank of gas.
I'm sure the gang from CSI could figure this one out in a heartbeat. Here's my theory.
A couple of kids decide to steal the car for a joyride. While on their Ride 'O Joy, one of the kids decides that while they have the car, they need to pull a heist. Something special. Something that will live in the annuls of history. A nursery heist. They quickly make their plans, drawing a diagram of the master crime on the vents of the car. Finding a nursery, they boost several rose bushes and beat a hasty retreat. While driving around reveling in their victory, one of the kids has a relapse of conscience and decides that they must make up for their dastardly deed. They immediately find the nearest church and plant the rose bushes, hoping that God will forgive them for their floral filch. While planting the flowers, they worked up quite a sweat. Now, the only sin they must atone for is the swiping of the car. They find the nearest Office Max and purchase some Wite-Out to erase their plans from the vent. They then pull up to a fire hydrant, thus insuring that the car will be discovered, and leave. And the license plate holder? Well, Christmas is just around the corner and plate holders make the perfect holiday gift.
All foolishness aside, it was surmised that these hooligans were huffing Wite-Out. I hear if you do that, it erases everything in your brain. Perhaps that didn't work so they moved on to flower sniffing? Maybe next time they should lick a few frogs. I hear that works too.

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