I let the guys in Midlife Chrysler know tonight of my intentions to quit the band after our December worship gig. It was hard but I had to be true to myself and fair to them. The simple truth is I just felt like a hypocrite singing those praise songs. I can't sing love songs to God right now because I don't love him. I feel like a phony singing those songs and I have to stop. There are other issues but none as important as a worship leader who has no business leading worship.
The guys were, I think, shocked. I didn't think they would be. I figured they saw it coming. Guess not. They were kind, said a lot of nice things about me and reassured me that our friendships would not change. I knew that because they are good people. They are concerned about me and hurt for me because of the spiritual battle I am going through. We talked some about it and perhaps we'll have the opportunity to have more conversations. It would be nice to have someone to talk to about all this even though I don't know how to explain how I feel.
So, unless there's some intervention from on high, I will be stepping down as lead singer for Midlife Chrysler at the end of December. I will miss it. I love singing, music and performing. It's a great creative outlet for me. I guess that means I'll have to work that much harder on my art.